While gambling addiction is often incorrectly viewed as a 'male problem', many women develop addictions to gambling.  We are proud to have had three inspirational women in recovery on The Problem Gambling Podcast, so far and would love to hear from more women who want to share their recovery stories.  

This short clip from our interview with Stacey Goodwin, hits the nail on the head, regarding one of the most common fallacies which drives gambling addiction - the dream that a 'big win' will solve everything.  

If you want to talk to someone in confidence, about your own issues with gambling, or a loved one's - or avail of our free counselling service, please fill out the Contact Form and we will arrange a call.  

Listen to the full interview with Stacey (A.K.A. 'The Girl Gambler') 

Nadine Ashworth is in recovery from a gambling addiction and is a Peer Mentor at the NHS Northern Gambling Clinic.  

Jenna Makela is an Expert by Experience, working with a Finnish support service for people with gambling problems.  

Claire Donegan is an Expert by Experience and the CEO of Thrive Recovery

Lisa Walker is an Expert by Experience and Outreach Worker with BetKnowMore

Most of the people who contact our service are interested in one thing: stopping gambling completely.  The vast majority of people we work with have made numerous attempts to quit gambling and, unfortunately, relapsed.  So, just like you, they have realised that they cannot gamble in a moderate or recreational way.  Having an unhealthy/addictive relationship with gambling is not a problem - as long as you don't gamble.  The real problem is repeatedly convincing yourself that you can gamble safely - when you have so much lived experience evidence to the contrary.  Many people cannot have a healthy relationship with gambling - just as many people cannot have a healthy relationship with alcohol or other drugs.  While the Government and Gambling Industry must take their fair share of responsibility for facilitating gambling addiction, they can't do your recovery for you (unfortunately).  So, here are some tips for starting out on your recovery journey.  While some of these are uncomfortable, I know from working with hundreds of people with gambling problems, that the people who do all of these are much less likely to relapse than the people who 'cherry-pick' the easier ones.  

• Self Exclude from all gambling venues that you visit regularly (local betting shops/casinos/arcades), as well as self-excluding from all online accounts.  Unfortunately, as Ireland does not yet have a multi-operator self-exclusion scheme, either for land-based or online gambling, this can require a bit of work.  Most people also find it embarrassing to sign a self-exclusion form in a land-based gambling venue.  It's certainly not fun - but it can be a really important part of stopping gambling and staying stopped.
• Blocking Software such as Gamban, provides a 'belt and braces' approach, if you gamble online.  We recommend installing it on all devices that you have access to.  It blocks access to all gambling sites and apps.  Make sure to self-exclude from online account, before you install the software.
• Financial Accountability to another person (who you trust) is a really useful tool.  Most people hate doing this, but it really can help - especially in the early stages (first 6 months).  It can either take the form of handing over complete financial control to a trusted person or being accountable to them for what you're spending your money on.  It usually doesn't feel great and it can, sometimes, cause conflict - but, if you don't have money, you can't gamble.  Simples.  
• Fill Your Time with other activities that you enjoy.  Many people spend a lot of their free time gambling.  It's really important to fill that time with something else, that you find interesting, challenging or enjoyable - or else your mind will keep wandering back to thoughts of gambling, through boredom.  
• Talk About Your Gambling.  This could be at a Gamblers Anonymous Meeting, or on a one-to-one basis with a counsellor.  Residential treatment may also be an option.  Many people will attend meetings and also go for counselling or residential treatment.  

The most important thing to remember, is that recovery from a gambling problem is possible - especially if you make the tough decisions and put the right structures in place.  If you would like to get some inspiration from other people who have recovered from addiction to gambling, check out our Recovery Story podcast episodes.  It's also worth listening to our special podcast episode 'Recovery 101', where we discuss these tips in more detail (featuring Tony O'Reilly, co-author of 'Tony10').  

One of the biggest issues with problem gambling (Gambling Disorder/Compulsive Gambling/Pathological Gambling/Gambling Addiction) - apart from the fact that it clearly has way too many names - is the lack of understanding that exists about how a person can become addicted to a behaviour in the first place.  Because there is no addictive substance, like alcohol or nicotine, involved - most people believe that stopping gambling should be as easy as steering clear of the Betting Shop or deleting a gambling app from your phone.  The reality is that it's far more challenging and complicated than that.  

So, I've boiled down some of the reasons why so many people develop problems with gambling, in an effort to demystify and simplify things.

• Gambling Changes Your Brain Chemistry: Just like many stimulant drugs, gambling causes the release of the hormone and neurotransmitter, Dopamine, in the brain.  This occurs in the Reward Pathway of the brain - an area which serves the purpose of rewarding us when we eat certain foods or have sex (activities that are strongly linked to the survival of the individual and the species).  Gambling, just like many drugs, can 'hijack' the Reward Pathway - so that we 'feel' like we need to gamble (or smoke cigarettes; drink alcohol; use cocaine) in order to survive.  Just like with alcohol and other drugs, we develop a 'tolerance' to gambling, over time, and experience 'withdrawal' symptoms, when abstaining.  Tolerance and Withdrawal are the key elements of any addiction.  The good news is that the brain's chemistry will return to normal levels of Dopamine production, after a period of abstaining from gambling and persevering through withdrawal symptoms.  These often include: low mood, restlessness, irritability, difficulty sleeping, anxiety.  
• Gambling Taps Into 'Behavioural Conditioning':  Just as we can be conditioned into checking our smartphones for social media updates, text messages and emails - we can be conditioned into developing an unhealthy relationship with gambling.  There are two main types of behavioural conditioning: Classical and Operant.  Classical Conditioning is sometimes referred to as a 'Pavlovian Response' - referring to the famous 'Pavlov's Dog' behavioural experiment.  Basically, this experiment showed that an unconscious response can be 'paired' with a stimulus (trigger), over time, when the trigger is repeated.  A person who has developed a gambling problem will usually start out watching sports without gambling on the outcomes, but, over time, will come to associate watching sport with gambling.  The two separate behaviours have been 'paired' together, so that the person feels uneasy when not gambling during a sporting event (withdrawal symptoms).  The good news is, that, just like Pavlov's Dog, the conditioning can be broken (extinguished) over time and most people can return to watching sport without having strong urges to gamble or intense withdrawal symptoms.  Operant Conditioning works on reinforcing behaviours through rewards - or 'punishing' other types of behaviours - usually through the absence of a reward ("carrot and stick").  'Star Charts', such as those used in early education, are a form of Operant Conditioning.  The teacher rewards behaviours that they want to encourage and see repeated.  The Behavioural Psychologist, B. F. Skinner, developed the theory of Operant Conditioning, based on behavioural experiments with animals (the 'Skinner Box').  When he was trying to describe his theories to the public, he compared the Skinner Box to slot machines - because they operate on the same principles.  Skinner observed that the most addictive 'Reward Schedule' was  a 'Variable-Ratio Schedule'.  This means that we all become more compulsive in seeking a reward, when it is unpredictable - rather than when it is predictable.  For most people with gambling problems, it is the anticipation of a reward, which provides the excitement, stimulation and Dopamine - not the reward, itself.  If you are reading this, as a loved one of a person with a gambling problem, you might not be able to relate to this.  However, you may be exposed to exactly the same types of processes in Social Media.  You can't predict when you're going to see a post that you find interesting or entertaining - so you keep scrolling.  You can't predict how many people are going to like, comment or share your posts - so you keep checking and get a little hit of Dopamine when your notifications go off.  Most people who have developed gambling problems are trying to deal with rewiring their behaviours away from both Classical and Operant Conditioning, which, in many cases, has been going on for years - developing deeply engrained, subconscious habits.  If you are a loved one, reading this, and you are still struggling to understand what this might feel like - maybe consider staying off all social media for one week and see how you feel.  Most of us will struggle with this, as we are surrounded by 'triggers' which remind us that it's time to seek out our Dopamine reward.  
• 'Hopium': As my colleague, Tony O'Reilly, often says: "Nobody ever believes that they can drink their way out of an alcohol problem - but everyone believes that they can gamble their way out of a gambling problem".  The vast majority of people who have gone through our counselling service, or call our helpline, have had some 'big win' (or several big wins).  This presents the person with 'evidence' that they can 'dig their way out of the hole' that they have dug themselves into (using the same shovel).  Unfortunately, for a person with a gambling problem, this hope is pure 'Hopium' - an irrational belief; a delusion.  A person with a gambling problem will just keep gambling - even after a big win - because they are not addicted to winning money.  They are addicted to the process of gambling and money just allows you to keep gambling (stay 'in action') for longer.  Many people, who are desperate to pay off gambling-related debts, believe that gambling is the only option available to them.  Of course, this isn't true - as so many people who have learned the hard way, can attest to.  

We have also recorded a podcast episode  on this topic, where we discuss Tony O'Reilly and I discuss in more detail.  

In this episode of the podcast, we look at the starting point for anyone wishing to stop gambling.  We cover the key areas of Access (self-exclusion), Time (what to do with your free time and to distract yourself from thoughts about gambling) and Money management.  We discuss the challenges that come up for our counselling clients, as well as the advantages to having this control measures in place.  The podcast is also available on Spotify and Google Podcasts.