Tony10… customer ID 169967
Over the last number of weeks, I like many of the clients that I work with, have been reflecting on gambling behavior and addiction. A few weeks ago. I was working on a couple of projects in regard to education and awareness and as part of this work I was examining my betting history. My betting history is a 1106-page document detailing my online bets and activity. It is with one Gambling Company and comprises of 6934 bets that were transacted through one account.
Tony10… customer ID 169967
I was looking for patterns and behaviours that highlight various aspects that can potentially lead to a gambling addiction. These include game design, betting in running, gambling with credit and the concepts of the chase/losses disguised as wins. I was bamboozled by the numbers and the sheer scale of the gambling. I was shocked by the events that I ended up gambling on. I reflected on how I let it get that bad. But mostly, I was very taken aback by my emotional reaction to it all. I found that I was reliving the trauma and emotional experience that I lived through for months while hiding and trying to gamble my way out of trouble. Similar to when working with trauma, I was trying to reach out to the side of me that got gripped by this madness and ‘put a compassionate arm’ around that side of me that still hurts, still feels extreme shame and guilt.
All the responsible gambling messages and ads tell you to ‘stop when the fun stops’, ‘know and set limits’, ‘only gamble what you can afford to lose’, ‘take a break’, ‘think about what you are doing’ and never chase your loses. The only thought that I had while in the grips of a gambling addiction was ‘How Do I Fix This’ and ‘How Do I Stop This Pressure and Madness in My Head’. I was out of control and couldn’t think rationally and ‘Be Responsible’.
Looking back now I accept full responsibility and have lost a lot because of gambling but staring at my history that Saturday afternoon I started to get more and more angry at the lack of controls and protection that I wasn’t afforded as a customer. I wondered what would have happened if there was regulation in Ireland back when I was gambling, and if it may have made a difference to me if I had been educated about the dangers of gambling while in school (in the same way that I was about Drugs and Alcohol).
I can’t go back and change what I did and undo the pain that I caused so many by my actions but I have tried to become a better person and try on a daily basis to help people who are struggling with gambling addiction. The one thing that frustrates me most is that 9 years on from when my story broke, little has changed. We badly need regulation and education in Ireland regarding gambling addiction. Hopefully, when the next Government is formed and after we work through these uncertain times, we will finally get the 2013 Gambling Control Bill enacted and the regulation in place which is so badly needed in Ireland. Gambling addiction like so many other behavioural addictions is a ticking time bomb, and in my opinion, growing and growing even in these dark days when everything else has come to a standstill.
Tony O'Reilly is an Addiction Counsellor with Problem Gambling Ireland and the co-author of 'Tony10'.
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